Gonna Turn Up the Volume 'til I Can't Even Think

So many things have been going through my mind lately I guess it shouldn't have been a surprise when I reacted the way I did. Sometimes escaping your own thoughts for a short while sounds like just the trick. The thing is, I'm not feeling overwhelmed or stressed. My mind has just been in overdrive for the past week. Thinking about life, thinking about the people I love, thinking about unresolved issues, thinking about art, thinking about schools, thinking about trips to NY, Seattle, and The Baltics, about choices I've made and will have to make, about church, about work, about moving, about change, about things that matter, about making a difference, about loving people: every one of them, about not flirting, about being misunderstood and misunderstanding, about dreaming, about feelings, about being alone, about self-defense, about exercise, about praying, about drawing, about art projects, about websites, about facebook, about emails, about twitter, about walking the dog, about the neighbor's cat, about phone calls I should be making and phone calls and texts I've screened, about saying “no“, about breaking poor boys' hearts, about forgetting and being forgotten, about what I want to be when I grow up, about growing up, about reading books, about netflix, about running errands, about finances, about birthdays and presents and cards and letters and holidays and family and keeping up with people and being honest and oral hygiene and haircuts and cleaning and organization and... the list never ends. One thing leads to another to another to another until I'm thinking about a million things and can't remember what it was that started it all.

Eee Gads! When will it ever stop? It's just that suddenly I can't tell myself to think about these things later and focus on right now.

Things need to be sorted through, things need to be dealt with, but nothing is pressing. Maybe that's the problem, nothing is “most important“ at any given moment. I've completely forgotten how to order things.