Gonna Turn Up the Volume 'til I Can't Even Think

So many things have been going through my mind lately I guess it shouldn't have been a surprise when I reacted the way I did. Sometimes escaping your own thoughts for a short while sounds like just the trick. The thing is, I'm not feeling overwhelmed or stressed. My mind has just been in overdrive for the past week. Thinking about life, thinking about the people I love, thinking about unresolved issues, thinking about art, thinking about schools, thinking about trips to NY, Seattle, and The Baltics, about choices I've made and will have to make, about church, about work, about moving, about change, about things that matter, about making a difference, about loving people: every one of them, about not flirting, about being misunderstood and misunderstanding, about dreaming, about feelings, about being alone, about self-defense, about exercise, about praying, about drawing, about art projects, about websites, about facebook, about emails, about twitter, about walking the dog, about the neighbor's cat, about phone calls I should be making and phone calls and texts I've screened, about saying “no“, about breaking poor boys' hearts, about forgetting and being forgotten, about what I want to be when I grow up, about growing up, about reading books, about netflix, about running errands, about finances, about birthdays and presents and cards and letters and holidays and family and keeping up with people and being honest and oral hygiene and haircuts and cleaning and organization and... the list never ends. One thing leads to another to another to another until I'm thinking about a million things and can't remember what it was that started it all.

Eee Gads! When will it ever stop? It's just that suddenly I can't tell myself to think about these things later and focus on right now.

Things need to be sorted through, things need to be dealt with, but nothing is pressing. Maybe that's the problem, nothing is “most important“ at any given moment. I've completely forgotten how to order things.

Nothing... or Something?

"Pooh, what's your favorite thing in the whole world?"
"My favorite thing is me coming to visit you, and then you ask, "How about a small smackeral of honey?"
"I like that, too. But what I like most of all is just doing nothing."
"How do you do just nothing?"
"Well, when grown-ups ask, "What are you going to do?" and you say, "Nothing," and then you go and do it."
"I like that. Let's do it all the time."

After an entire day spent doing nothing, ie: catching up on Lost, the Office, and HIMYM, surfing the web (specifically fb, twitter and youtube) and eating an inordinate amount of truffles, (granted, I am sick with the sniffles, sneezies and coughs) I am thrown back to the longest most boring time of my life: The Summer of '08. What I did today was LITERALLY all I did that summer, except that thrown in the mix was the craigslist "search for jobs" which mostly just ended up in missed connections (yes, I'm an addicted, avid reader). Let's just say, that was NOT a good time.

Why is it so easy to do "nothing"?

I can blame it on a million things, but truly it's just my own laziness and procrastination that is keeping me from doing "something."

I have come a long way from the summer of 08, but I've a long way to go to reach maximum productivity levels. Until then, I'll enjoy my sporadic youtube and stalkerbook days.

A recently found gem: