she only dreams when she's sad

Sometime in between when the past hurt begins to throb again and the present hurt turns purple as it pools with blood, life happens.

Most of the time I wish I could just run away from it all, but logistics stop me. In the end, it's better to face the hurt, to stare it down until it gives in and turns away. Because, no matter how far or how fast you run, it will always be on your heels. Like a shadow it will follow you, sometimes unseen, sometimes towering over you, sometimes darkening those you love who are near, sometimes startling you as it suddenly appears distorted and mangled before you. At times it can almost be comforting in its constancy.

I like to believe there's a place where facing the hurt can be escaped, even if only for a brief moment. Maybe in a little cottage on the Parisian countryside, or in the middle of a forest while the leaves are rustling around you, or perhaps in that moment when something makes you genuinely laugh, or when someone does something that restores your faith in humanity.

Hurt is a part of life, it may be unpleasant, but I'm happy to be feeling at all.

Return, if you must.

At times it is necessary to go back.  Visit if you can, linger if you must, but never leave from the past unchanged.

http://wholeheart.xanga.com

To Start Things Off

Well, things are all set up!

Semi-regular posting to begin soon... unless I end up missing xanga.