Day #182

It's so strange, six months ago I imagined I would be counting down the days until this Tuesday, July 1st, but no, in fact, before I could blink it was the middle of June and I was dreading the very day I thought I would be eagerly anticipating.

I'm not sure what's happened to me, but I don't dislike it.

I understand that nothing needs to change just because the day that marked the end of my commitment to not date has come and gone.  No, nothing needs to change at all and I knew nothing really would change, anyway.  It's just suddenly, now that the six months have passed, I feel as though that was not enough time.  I need more time!  Maybe I'm just in need of another easy excuse to be able to say "no" and not feel bad, OR I just need to be strong and remember that excuses are for wussies anyway and no one needs or even deserves an explanation or an excuse from me.

It occurred to me on the drive home from my friend's house tonight how strange my life must seem to other people, but to me it doesn't make sense to live any other way.  

I just can't waste any more of my time and energy on boys.  I've done enough of that and have come to realize that there are more important things in life: I just want to love people, I want to be there for my family and friends, I want to follow God unhindered and undistracted, I want to live simply, with no silly and completely avoidable complications, I want it to be a 'drama-free 23'.  That's right, it's come to this, I'm now giving every year a tag line...